"Make a Change"


The last time I blogged, I was pretty upset about someone shoving their values down my throat with a heavy handed hurtful tone. uhg. It still hurts when I think about it, but I know better than to focus on that. I noticed way down in my blog how I have a very, long, lofty eccentric list of things that I would like to accomplish or attain for posterities' sake. But some things never last as all things change. Has my list changed? No I just want to keep adding to it. It is as if I want to speed up my intellectual and artistic pursuits at a time when most people my age are slowing down and kicking back.

Don't mis read me, I am a work-aholic, and I know that hours times action equals something. Somtimes though a lot of action is invisible to others and they lose their patience without seeing something manifest. And if it doesn't show, those would be the very people who say what I did failed or was a waste. Not so to those who understand what I value. I value the attempt, the pursuit, the happiness is in the possibilities of what can come. I remain single because of my focus and that I have not met anyone, besides my daughter, who has taken the time to hear my vision. I am okay with that because I am not ready to present it to anyone else romantically speaking.

We have to present to someone who is open to the new and patient to hear the detail and certainly non judgemental. Such a person is rare, and rare is worth waiting for. I just know that I still stand firm and steadfast in my dreams. I will not let anyone take that away from me.

I see people who claim the title of disabled and yet they are able. And I have witness the severely handicap rise above par to excel at their talent. I am inspired and encouraged by those people.

So those who are critical of me can yell, throw fits, stones and tones, or looks that cook; I will turn a deaf ear to them and a blind eye. For they are blind and cannot smell the roses even after they are in full bloom. They would never appreciate me in any state. I really am too busy to be with them, and bottom line, I know they are unhealthy for me. I will soon clear my head of what they have said and have no room in my calendar to entertain them at my emotional expense. I can and will make the bed the way I want and will sleep in peace.

So I am closing a curtain on a stage that I have played in for way too long. Jim Rohn said that each of us is the average of the five people with whom we hang around. Now that I think about it, that might be why I don't like to hang around with people too often.

I do like to be of service to people and help them be better human beings for it. That may be why people like to hang around with me. But I have learned to guard myself around them. So in essence they never, if ever, get to see the real me. I think that is why I like teaching teens, I can show them me as an exercise in helping them be who ever they are. But very few adults who I know get to see the real me. And now I find myself gravitated to an industry (particularly a group) that shows emense interest in others for the sake of others. Yes this is a way to be a servant, to listen to what others need want and don't want. And in that process figure out how I can help them.

Today, I am here to say that I am greatful for the leader of my group who has shown an interest in me and my dreams that has helped me reveal the real me to him. And though I may be average in a circle of five, the hoola hoop (bar) has just been raise. This new circle of associates would like to see me check things off my wish list and are encouraging me that with labor under correct knowledge (the real meaning of luck= training), I will be able to attain my dreams.

So now when a friend jokes in a taciturn way or directly dismisses what I have to say or what I am doing, I tell them it's not funny or don't dismiss what I aspire to. Now I would like to be more tactful than that (like my daughter is) but I will get there. However, if someone continues to dismiss me or tear at my esteem with insults/unconstructive critisism, they are not the person to hang out with. I know that I am a force to be reckoned with. I am not distructive like a hurricane, tornado or tsunami, but I will meander about making change where I can and chip away the soft sediment and change perhaps the course of the way things have been. I have already done that in many places and looking back it was more painful for me, but well worth it for people who came after me. And that's what living is about to make a better way for others who follow us.